Tuesday 28 August 2018

Living with Faith, Hope and MSA!

Creation
I do not think there is anyone on earth who does not, at least once a day, marvel at creation. It could be a weaver building a nest, a beautiful kitten or puppy, a majestic volcano erupting, a single rosebud, a school of tropical fish amongst the coral, the birth of a child. Wherever we look at whatever time of day, we see the magnificence of creation. Did it all start with a blob of rock infused with fungus landing on our planet, or a magical atom discovered under a rock? Whatever ones opinion is of how it all started, one thing is for sure, today's scientific evidence alongside ancient established religion, can live in absolute harmony and coexistence.


St. Anthony's Monastery, Egypt - 1700 years of Coptic Prayer
Before I connect the dots between Faith, Hope and MSA, I think I need to start right at the beginning. The earliest recollection I have of anything "religious" was my late mother doing her very best to get me to go to confirmation classes (My father had died when I was very young). I was baptised a Presbyterian but never confirmed. It simply was not to be and for most of my life I steered away from anything spiritual. I did however enjoy and appreciated visiting some of the most beautiful and ancient cathedrals, especially in France.

Rose Window - Chartres Cathedral
An experience I had in my 20's was rather unusual and left me with a feeling of "I wonder why?" I was spending a few days at the Guerlain factory in Chartres, France and during one lunch time, I ventured out and walked down to the famous Chartres Cathedral, well known for a magnificent, huge round stained glass window. It was made of a special blue glass only made in the region. Fortunately it was never damaged during the world war. As I walked into the Cathedral and moved towards the Altar and Sanctuary, time sort of stood still, and I was touched on the shoulder by a guide/security fellow who asked me if I was aware of what I had just done. I was standing in the centre of a labyrinth that was laid out on the floor and evidently, unbeknown to me, I had walked the entire labyrinth! I had done something that monks had done for centuries as a form of meditation and prayer. Must have been when "time stood still" for me. Perhaps that was when a being greater than me, instilled the first inkling of what was to come.

Labyrinth - Chartres Cathedral
Having lived in Hong Kong for a number of years, I was fortunate enough to have travelled to various far east countries and was exposed to Buddhism, Shintoism and various other religions. Nothing grabbed my attention nor rocked my boat. It was years and many ups and downs later, that are part of all our daily lives, when Christianity appeared once again in a most unexpected way. My life has been full of unexpected journey's, each one reaching a high and ending in a low. This has been my honest experience. One of the worst was while living in Cape Town and due to unforeseen circumstances, my business started to collapse and I had a heart attack. To keep my staff employed, I was forced to sell the business. I had made up my mind that I would leave the city life and move to countryside living where life was said to be more relaxed and laid back.


Andy (RIP), Laura, Me
A dear friend and colleague of mine bought the business and asked me to please stay on as manager for at least a year until he could find a replacement. He did everything he could to try to get me to remain in Cape Town and not move. I had made up my mind and together with my partner, we started searching for a suitable village to move to. During the year, my friend Andy had massive heart failure and was in hospital having had a pacemaker fitted. We visited on a Saturday and spent some time with him and his wife. He was restless, kept on looking at the electronic graph and listening to the beeps of his monitor. He would not relax and let the pacemaker take over and do its job. The hospital staff and Laura his wife were very unsettled and worried. On leaving, I remember saying to my partner that this could be the last time we saw Andy alive.


The St. Francis of Assisi San Damiano Crucifix
Then it happened! On awaking the Sunday morning, I had a shower, dressed in a suit (I had not worn a suit for years!) and said I was going to Church! Save for a few baptisms, weddings and funerals, I had not been in a Church for many, many, many years. My partner was agog and followed suit. He asked what Church we were going to and why. At the time I was not sure what prompted me, however the why was easy, I just KNEW I had to go somewhere and pray for Andy! The only Christian Church in the area, was five minutes away from our home, the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church. Both of us walked in with a little apprehension and sat in the back pew. During the Mass we had no idea what was going on, we stood up, sat, knelt and stood up umpteen times taking our lead from the rest of the congregation. What I did UNDERSTAND was the format of the Mass. The scripture readings from the old testament, the new testament, the psalms, the Gospels, the homily and the Holy Communion. Needless to say, we returned the following Sunday and the next, when I said to the parish priest that I thought I would like to CONVERT to Catholicism, the mother Church of Christianity. The rest is history, I became a Catholic Christian and have never looked back. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this was Divine intervention, there is no other explanation.


St. Luke's Retreat Centre
One aspect of this momentous occasion in my life, was our house hunting in the countryside. The number one priority was that there was a Catholic Church in the village we choose. We moved  to Bedford, became involved with Parish life, especially the youth activities, opened a Bed and Breakfast and small business revolving around cooking with lavender. I also got to know the Bishop of the Diocese, when I created the first website for the  Eastern Cape province. Things were ticking along and one day, while on a course in Bedford, facilitated by a Nun from the USA, there was another, totally unexpected, Divine intervention. Being a rather heavy smoker and during any break, I usually rush out and light one up. On this occasion I did not (Why?), I sat down next to another nun, Sr. Anacleta and asked her where she was staying while in Port Elizabeth. She said St. Luke's Retreat Centre and that the Bishop was worried because the manager was leaving shortly for the USA and they could not find a replacement. At that INSTANT, I knew that I was destined to move to Port Elizabeth and become the new manager. Within days the negotiations with the Bishop were complete, our house put on the market and preparations for the move made. Almost eleven years later, I am still at St. Luke's. Who would ever in their right mind, me included, think that one day I would actually work for the Church? In hindsight, one thing I do know, my life was being GUIDED by one person only and that person was my creator. My journey at St. Luke's over the years has also been filled with many up's and down's.

Andy sadly passed away and we are pleased that we have remained in contact with his dear wife Laura. It is interesting to note, Andy was born and raised in Port Elizabeth! A few year ago, my partner, without any prompting from me, converted to Catholicism.


We pray for research benefactors and hope for a speedy cure for MSA
The dots.. Faith, Hope, MSA. We always have many questions in life. I have talked about the highs and lows of one's life journey and looking back I asked myself, why did I buy a good business (High), why did it crash (Low), why did Andy buy my business (High) why did Andy die (Low), why did we move to Bedford Village (High) why did the move not go as planned (Low), why did I choose (or did I?) to work for the Church (High), why was I diagnosed with MSA (Low).

In between all these and many, many more up's and down's throughout my life, since my conversion there has been the absolute FAITH and understanding, that I am being guided by the Holy Trinity. Much prayer has taken place, and within these prayers there has always been the HOPE for a good outcome or resolution. My prayers have always been answered, however not always in the way I had envisaged! Knowing the absolute certain outcome and travelling through my last meaningful journey, living with MSA, is in a strange way almost liberating. For the first time in my life I KNOW the outcome (Low) and I am moving forward with great HOPE to the mysterious and probably, the Highest point in my life! Putting up with all the negative aspects of MSA is the last cross that I have to carry.

Whatever religion you follow (or not), always have great Faith, Hope, Prayer, Love and Courage as you traverse the difficult and challenging way ahead. Spread the word, make sure you talk about MSA to everyone that touches your life. It is a rare disease that everyone needs to know about.

[If you have not read the first post of this blog, I recommend you visit HERE and read in chronological order, it will make my journey a little clearer for you]

(Next.. Moving Forward with MSA)

Keep Safe,

Neill
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Multiple system atrophy (MSA) is a rare, degenerative neurological disorder affecting your body's involuntary (autonomic) functions, including blood pressure, breathing, bladder function and muscle control. MSA shares many Parkinson's disease-like symptoms, such as slow movement, rigid muscles and poor balance. Treatment includes medications and lifestyle changes to help manage symptoms, but there is no cure. The condition progresses and eventually leads to death. Read my Journey with MSA @ https://msainsouthafrica.blogspot.com



12 comments:

  1. That was worth the wait Neill! Your way of looking at things was a fresh outlook I had not yet encountered in dealing with this. I especially liked "My prayers have always been answered, however not always in the way I had envisaged! Knowing the absolute certain outcome and travelling through my last meaningful journey, living with MSA, is in a strange way almost liberating. For the first time in my life I KNOW the outcome (Low) and I am moving forward with great HOPE to the mysterious and probably, the Highest point in my life! Putting up with all the negative aspects of MSA is the last cross that I have to carry."

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    1. Thank you so much Angie. I suppose in searching for the meaning of life led me to this conclusion. In simple terms why was I born, what has my life brought me and those around me. We all know we will die one day and somehow knowing that I will die, broadly speaking from MSA is almost a privilege, be it lung failure, heart attack, who knows. In retrospect, looking at my life, there were always indicators, even if sometimes they were feint, that there was someone else leading me down certain paths and in certain directions.

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  2. I too love your vision of your journey. I am still trying to sort things out. So I can find peace in my MSA journey. I was given the news I had this last week. I hope to reach the peace you seem to have found..Thanks for sharing your journey.

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    1. Thank you redron.. Your news is so fresh in your mind.. only a week.. it is a huge amount to digest and only with time will you find peace.. I may have found a good deal of peace, but believe you me, there are moments when I still ask why.. do keep in touch.. thinking of you..

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  3. Neill, this was the first of your blog posts that I read, but I went back and read them all from the beginning before making this post. Your path to MSA diagnosis is very similar to my dad's. He died in 2003. Your faith journey is very different from his, he was a lifelong Catholic, but I think you have ended up in a similar place to where he was. He was always hopeful, and when he died, we really felt he had been released from the confines of a mortal body into the freedom of a soul in heaven. I look forward to reading more of your blog posts. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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    1. Hello Elizabeth, Thank you so much for your comments.. and may your dear dad's soul rest in peace. Frankly, I do not think I would be where I am, had not been for my Faith.. Big Hugs..

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  4. Dear Neill, you are eloquent, funny, inspirational and a wonderful MSA mentor to those with MSA and their carers. Your words resonate with much of what my beloved brother shared during his MSA walk. My greatest lesson from him - to live in this moment, just this one precious moment, and to stay out of our thinking, ruminating heads. Whether it was a coffee or watching his grandchild I learnt much about appreciation and gratitude.
    May you be safe, may you be loved, may calm surround you.

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    1. Dominique, thank you so very much for your kind words. Your brother no doubt was a wonderful fellow. What you say is very true.. living for this moment in time and enjoying the small things in life is comforting.. Hugs..

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  5. Dear Neill—Thanks for sharing your search and your discovery. Doctors know very little about MSA, which we also share, but we get glimpses of what it means through our prayers and our imagination. More sharing: I spent a brief time in Hong Kong as a church employee, back when I could still genuflect saying Amen instead of Ouch. Keep blogging! You are appreciated. Aloha, Arthur

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    1. Thank you so much Arthur.. I know exactly what you mean when you say "OUCH". I will continue with the blog so long as I am able to type.. Best wishes, Neill

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    2. ps.. I am going to see if I can find some of your publications. What an interesting life you have led!

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  6. Thank you for this post. I'll have to go back to the beginning so I can follow your journey. This one was touching. So many questions... I wish you well and all the comfort moving forward.
    Dianne

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